• Price: $29.99 USD (digital)
  • $34.99 (Lavish Edition – digital)
  • $34.99 (physical)
• Developers: Sassy Chap Games, Team17
• Publisher: Team17
• Release Date: June 17, 2025

A review code was kindly provided by Team17 on behalf of Sassy Chap Games. We thank them for allowing us to cover something they’ve worked so hard on.

Content warning: rated M; *SKIPPABLE CONTENT* has trigger warnings including mental health issues (i.e. suicide, PTSD), abusive relationships, stalking, animal death, sex-themed Dateables. Dateables you can’t skip still have sexual content here and there, but to a lesser extent.

I’ve played otome and other games with dating elements for over a decade now. I enjoy the more traditional dating sims, but it’s always nice to see developers experiment with something new and even strange…which brings me to the subject of this review: Date Everything!, a dating simulator that allows you to actually date everything in your house! 😮

The concept sounded so silly and fun, and I loved the character designs. Additionally, Date Everything! is the first game developed by Sassy Chap Games, a studio founded by prominent voice actors Ray Chase, Robbie Daymond, Max Mittelman, and Amanda Hufford. The game is fully voice acted, with 100 characters voiced by a long list of even more heavy hitters. So I started the game with high expectations, and spoiler alert: they more than delivered on their promise.

The story begins with your character losing their job; shortly after this a drone appears on your doorstep with a mysterious package containing anthropomorphized “Dateviator” glasses named Skylar Specs. She says that her lenses allow you to “Directly Acknowledge a Thing’s Existence” – or DATE – anthropomorphized versions of the objects in your house.

They had me from the beginning with the wordplay and clever acronyms. I put on the Dateviators and started introducing myself to my household items. Now you can sleep with your bed and “make time” with your alarm clock. 😉 I absolutely love how the character designs and names connect with their object. (“Johnny Splash” the singing shower was hilarious.)

You wander around the house in a first-person format. Normally I don’t like playing in first-person, but here I found it quite easy to navigate the house. When you talk to each Dateable, you have to choose from a series of dialogue options. As you continue to interact with them, you’ll eventually reach the point where they decide if they love you, hate you, or just want to be friends.

Regardless of the outcome, when you reach a relationship status you get SPECS points for traits including Smarts, Poise, Empathy, Charm, and Sass. Additional dialogue options become available when your stats are higher, and finding every dateable and obtaining their SPECS points is very important for later on.

Each Dateable manifests in human form, but the amount of “avatars” for an item range between 1-5, depending on the Dateable. The curtains are represented in the form of Curt and Rod (“curtain rod”), while your hangers appear as 5 guys who are all named Hank.

While there may be multiple avatars for a Dateable, you can still only talk to each Dateable once a day. Naturally, time passes as you speak to an object, but each conversation apparently takes 3 hours!!! With only so much time in the day, this means you can only speak to 5 Dateables per day.

I thought that 3 hours per conversation felt slightly excessive – I can barely manage half an hour on the phone with friends and family in real life! 😂 Since there are 100 Dateables, I may have liked it more if we could talk to maybe 7 or so a day?

And speaking of time, for some Dateables it’s important to remember the time and/or place they want to meet you the next time you speak. Timothy Timepiece the time-obsessed clock is quite clear when he tells you the only acceptable time slot for your next visit, and Dunk the exercise equipment asks you to meet him at a specific exercise station each time.

Others are slightly less clear, with Curt and Rod wanting you to come see them at different (unspecified) windows each time. Bobby the bobby pin gives you hints on where to find her the next time. There are additional Dateables who move around the house as well.

I had fun exploring the house and meeting everyone. There were a few things I would change about my interactions with the household items and the exploration process. For one thing, there were several instances where I’d accidentally end up going to the wrong window for Curt & Rod, or the wrong exercise equipment for Dunk.

They would tell me I got it wrong, but this wasted a conversation slot for the day. I started to save before each conversation, but it would’ve been nice if the game would warn us that nothing would come of an interaction there, similar to the message that lets us know we’ve already spoken to an object that day.

I also wish that the lights would automatically go on at night, as it took me a few extra seconds to locate the light switches and turn them on every night. It’s not a huge deal, but it would be a nice “quality of life” improvement to have.

For the most part Dateables were pretty easy to find, but eventually you do run out of the easy-to-find ones. (Check out our guide if you need some help!) When you speak with someone they may mention a rumor about another Dateable’s location, which is then recorded in the “Roomers” app for you.

You can access special apps related to Dateables by putting on your Dateviators and using your phone. This includes the Roomers app as well as the Date-a-Dex app, which displays the information you’ve gathered about the Dateable objects. Each entry records your recent interactions with the subject, their likes and dislikes, and collectables.

There’s an incredible amount of lore in Date Everything!; we get glimpses of the “main story” of sorts by checking the messages that occasionally appear in the “real world” messaging apps, and I was also impressed with each Dateable’s individual storyline.

I especially appreciated how much the other Dateables would participate in (or are at least mentioned in) interactions with others. It’s even possible to engage in polyamorous relationships with multiple sets of couples, and no one gets mad about it.

I think that most of the Dateables start out pretty friendly (whether they stay that way is up to you). Yet the household also provides us with some entertaining drama and gossip, such as the rumored existence of counterfeit objects in the house. Scandalabra (voiced by Ray Chase) is one of my favorite characters because of how overdramatic he is.

Not all the drama is necessarily humorous though; some of the 100 Dateables in the main game may have content that could potentially be triggering to some players. These warnings range from abusive relationships to stalking to mental health issues. A few of them include warnings for NSFW themes such as BDSM. (You may not want to play this around the easily scandalized. 😱)

Thankfully, the developers were very conscious about not forcing players to engage with content that could be triggering. Skylar Specs comes with a “Content Aware Mode” that alerts you when a Dateable object may have potentially triggering content. There aren’t any penalties for avoiding those characters.

I used this feature to skip a few characters, such as the mousetrap. When you skip a character you get to choose how the relationship turns out, and you automatically obtain their SPECS points. I do recommend not choosing a Hate ending for the majority of characters if possible because it seems to prevent something important called “Realization” later? (You need to get at least 2 characters to hate you to establish a relationship with a special character, but there are ways to reverse a Hate ending.)

I think it’s pretty difficult to get someone to hate you. Fortunately you can make multiple manual save files; I’d save before each interaction just in case I messed up. I spent about 40 hours exploring the house and discovering its secrets on my first playthrough, and there do seem to be different “main story” endings based on your relationship statuses when you choose to end the story.

Date Everything! has a couple of hiccups here and there; the Gaia quest line seems to be glitched somehow, as no matter what I tried I couldn’t give her the information she requested. Occasionally I’d see the same conversation again, or a character wouldn’t advance at all in their story. I also experienced some crashing at times, which I believe started when I switched to the Switch 2 from my OLED.

Other than that, the game is a fantastic experience with a lot going for it. The house design itself may look a little basic, but it’s got a lot of interactivity to it. As you walk around you can click on doors to open them, turn on lights and sinks, and bumping into the Dateable objects (or clicking on them) causes them to react verbally and physically. I was extremely happy that the entire house exists on one screen, so there’s no loading times to deal with as you move from room to room.

The character portraits are absolutely stunning, and I love the way they change as they react to your dialogue choices. Again, the designs are just so creative in the way they represent their household object. (Eddie & Volt and River were 2 of my favorites from both an aesthetic standpoint and in terms of their stories.) Apparently there are over 11,000 hand-drawn images; there are even some lovely CGs once you choose to end the game.

As far as the audio is concerned, all I can say is WOW! If my count from the credits is correct, it looks like they managed more than 100 voice actors (presumably including the DLC characters). I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been to arrange all of that, but I think their hard work absolutely paid off.

There are more than 70,000 voiced lines (1.2 million words – for comparison, a quick Google search indicates that the The Lord of the Rings trilogy – plus The Hobbit – has about half the word count at ~600,000!). To have every line voiced is amazing, and I think that all the voices suited their characters perfectly. As if that’s not enough, each Dateable has their own music track! 😮 (I loved the ending theme songs, too!)

The writing is so clever and entertaining. I live and breathe puns, so I felt right at home in this game. If you, too, enjoy wordplay consisting of puns, alliteration, and silly acronyms, you need to play this game. The way they combined wordplay with pop culture references made me so happy.

Date Everything! is one of the most incredible games I’ve ever played. Sassy Chap Games took a lot of risks with such a massive undertaking for their first game, and I believe that they paid off. I enjoyed this so much that I’m playing through it again on New Game+, which resets all of your progress except for collectibles and SPECS points. And with the Lavish DLC becoming available on release day, I plan to dive right back in to romance the new Dateables. 😎 🌹

9/10